I must be dreaming
by IDair
Summary: While Leonard is away, Sheldon dreams of his roommate's girlfriend and it's not pleasurable. One shot AU right after 7x01


**Title:** I must be dreaming (it's the title of a song by The Maine)

**Timeline:** AU right after 7x01

**Main Characters:** Sheldon Cooper, Penny

**Summary:** While Leonard is away, Sheldon dreams of his roommate's girlfriend and it's _not_ pleasurable.

**Disclaimer: I do **_**not**_** own The Big Bang Theory. Otherwise Sheldon would not be **_**so**_** hard to write :P**

**English is not my native language, so I'm sorry in advance for any mistakes you might find.  
**

Sheldon arranges the sheet under his arms, making himself comfortable in his Dracula sleeping position, and closes his eyes.

No matter what Penny keeps saying, he does _not_ miss Leonard. He simply doesn't.

But being attacked by the kraken and dragged down into North Sea's iced water is not an experience he'd like his best friend to virtually have. Not more than _once_, anyhow. His eyes flutter open right away.

He hadn't dreamt of Leonard that night. When he sees the sunlight filters out the curtain of his window, he switches off his alarm an hour (by what he can tell by the sun's position) before it'd ring. He hadn't slept at all.

Maybe Penny had a _little_ _bit_ of a point.

He thinks it's only _logical_. If he has difficulties falling asleep at night (and not because Leonard is not there to say goodnight to him trough the walls of his bedroom using morse code, please, of course not) he'll have to sleep in the afternoon. As long as it does not affect his work, he has nothing to worry about.

Sheldon opens his eyes slowly, his eyelashes flutter against the rough material of the pillow as he blinks.

He'd fallen asleep on the couch while watching tv. _Again_.

That was the fourth time that it'd happened to him that week. He stretches his hand to reach the remote on the coffee table and switches the tv off.

He stands up. He'll write an email to BBC America to complain about the sleep inducing programs they kept airing during the summer hiatus.

It gets colder and a little windy in the following weeks. He manages to fall asleep at night easily again.

Penny was wrong, he doesn't need to tell her that he was right (but he does anyhow, because he _is_ right).

Him having trouble sleeping was only a temporarily stress induced hitch. It was his body's way of reacting to a _little_ change in his routine that she mistakenly interpreted as him missing Leonard.

Penny abstains from asking him (if it was not Leonard's departure) what that _little_ change in his routine was, because _now_ she knows better.

The only problem he had now was that with the sleep came back the dreams as well. And sometimes, almost _all the time_ recently, he's really afraid of the _dreams_.

Even (_especially_) the ones he had when he _hadn't_ watched Clash of the titans right before going to sleep.

He would have never admit it to himself or, specially, to _anybody _else, but the truth was it hadn't been only Leonard and the kraken who had been tormenting his dreams that summer.

It had been _her_.

"_I'm sure Leonard is tormented every moment is away from your warm embrace…"_

He's in Geneva. He can finally see the Large Hadron Collider like he's been dreaming since he was nine.

He's in what looks like a royal hotel suit with a king sized bed and fancy furniture, but the heating system must not work because he's freezing out. He blows on his gloves covered hands, rubbing them together. He's bundled up in his wool bonnet and padded jacket, but he keeps shivering. He moves and notices that in the wall in front of him there's a huge windowpane. He can see the Alps outside of it, magnificent in their heights and with the snow covered tops. Then, he turns around and she's there. _Penny_. Still in her green sweatshirt and yoga pants. What is _she _doing there? She's supposed to be home. She gave up on the vacation and Leonard took him instead. _Leonard_. Where was him? He wasn't there. If he was the one who had booked that room why he wasn't there with him? Penny moves closer. His foot in response takes a step back. Then another and another. Before he can realize it, he has his back turned on her. He's facing the mountains again. Suddenly, Penny's arms wrap around him from behind and he gulps. She rests her head on his back and suddenly all the cold is gone.

Sheldon wakes up suddenly, breathing quickly through his nose. He sits up and pushes the sheets away. He doesn't have to press his hand to his forehead to know is dripping with sweat.

" …_and cherry lips."_

He's in a club. He's been there before. It's the same club he's been with Penny, Amy and Bernadette when he joined them during their girls' night out. But there's no Amy or Bernadette. There's only Penny, sitting at the table next to him in her purple dress, sipping what it looks like a cherry drink. "Sheldon, have you ever kissed a girl?" she asks and he can't tell if the softness in her voice is caused by the alcohol she's just imbibed. Before he can open his mouth to say something, she leans over and presses her lips against his. He stiffens instantly, feeling like he can no more blink normally. Her lips tastes like cherry and something else. Something sticky, like lip gloss, and he has no idea how he can recognize that because he's absolutely sure he'd never tasted lip gloss in his entire life. But they're soft and just slightly wet in a way he can be comfortable with, and suddenly, his lips start moving against hers.

Sheldon wakes up, his eyes struggle to adjust to the darkness of his room. The red numbers on the display of his alarm say it's 4 am. He sighs deeply. He really shouldn't have eaten that much at dinner last night. But Penny invited him over and she had bought ice cream (a brand name he approved of) for dessert, and she had a maraschino cherries and he couldn't simply say no. He closes his eyes only to flutter them open again a second later. Panic rushes through him as his brain elaborates a memory of the night before. He had just finished his dish of ice cream when Penny mistakenly took _his_ spoon. She'd brought a spoonful of ice cream to her mouth, then she'd thrown the dirty spoon into the sink and put the box back in the freezer. She'd shared his own split with him without her ever realizing it. He should be disgusted by how unhygienic it was but instead, he can't help his mind from wondering if that's the closest thing to a kiss. He knows for sure it's the closest he'll _ever_ get with her and that thought upsets him more than he can allow himself to be.

"_How about a hug?" "How about a hearty handshake?"_

He offers her his hand because it's what has been taught to him to be an acceptable social protocol between friends. Penny takes it, her palm solid against his. He barely feels her fingers moving on the back of his hand, that he hears a noise, like a shush of clothes. When he looked down at her, he can see she's moved closer, a _lot_ closer. Closer than she's been to him in a long time. Her left hand moves fast, grabs the neckline of his t-shirt, pulls him down. He barely have time to suck in one breath and then she stands on her tiptoes and presses her lips fully against his. She's kissing him. She's _kissing_ him. She slides her free arm around his neck and she opens her mouth over his. And then, in what he feels like a slow motion, even though he knows it's a physical impossibility, his lips follows her movements, entirely on their own will. Because he would never _ever_ kiss her back. His left arm moves up, on his own will too, and his hand finds the straight hair at the nape of her neck, accommodating Penny's head to a better angle. Penny sighs on his mouth before slipping his bottom lip between hers, never stop kissing him. Their right hands still joined between their bodies.

Sheldon opens his eyes abruptly and sits up on his bed. He slowly looks down at his right hand only to see his fist clenched and the sheet rumpled beneath his fingers.

"_Perhaps I should sleep here so you don't miss Leonard this much."_

He can distinguish even through the darkness of the bedroom, someone's shadow standing at the doorstep. He blinks a couple times and switches the bed lamp on. Penny, covered in her ridiculously tiny pink pajama, is standing in front of him. "Penny? What are you doing here?" he asks, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. He was about to say that people couldn't' be in his room, but that was _not_ his room. "This is _my_ room, remember? "Penny grins as if she'd just read his mind. "You can't sleep?" he asks. She takes a step forward. He's suddenly hyper aware of her presence in the room. "No, the couch is terribly uncomfortable. Why don't you sleep on it this time?" "Penny, I already told you. There's not enough room for me on your couch, besides I sleep on a _bed_." "Yeah, well, I guess we'll have to share it then." "W-What?" he shouts, but barely finding his voice "What are you doing? You can't…" but Penny is already slipped under the covers "It was you idea, remember?" She says only a few centimeters far from his face and he forces himself to keep his eyes straight on _her_ face. Not lower where the ends of her hair cover the sides of her neck, or lower where her heart shaped locket shines under the light of the lamp, or lower where the material of her pajama top stretches over the full curve of her breasts. He feels a drop of sweat slipping along his back and he's not sure he can catch his breath. "You said that if you slept here I wouldn't missed Leonard this much" she whispers putting a hand on his chest. He swallows hard. "And tonight I _really…_" Penny's fingers follows an imaginary path on his pajama top, "…_really…_" Penny's lips lie softly against his jaw, making him tremble, "…_really_ miss Leonard." she finishes, her mouth touching his ear, her upper body pressing slowly against his. He trembles again when her tongue traces a trail on his neck, while her hands travel down, over the waistband of his pajama bottom, brushing his naked, hot skin.

Sheldon wakes up with a gulp, making sure that he's in his own bed. His Star Wars sheets are there. He hates that what he feels seems just like disappointment.

* * *

"Sheldon!" "Sheldon!" "Sheldon!" Sheldon wakes up at the knocking on his door, his head stumbles against his palm. He bends his elbows and sits up straight. He's in his spot on the couch but he absolutely doesn't remember falling asleep. Penny pushes the door of his apartment open, holding her car keys between her fingers "I'm going to the supermarket right now, you said you needed eggs earlier, do you wanna come with me?" Sheldon purses his lip. It's French toast day, but suddenly the mere thought of being alone with her makes the pit of his stomach spasms in pain.

At the store, he doesn't select his eggs as meticulously as usually because he's too _busy_ watching Penny. He watches her picking oranges and strawberries and a mix of vitamins her body couldn't assimilate even in a entire year. He watches her standing on her tiptoes, stretching his arm trying to reach a bottle of detergent on the top shelf. Her t-shirt rides up, exposing the curve of her hips and he can't keep his eyes from staring at the roundness of her lower back, wrapped up in her denim shorts. "Sheldon?" He almost jumps in his spot at the sound of his name. When she turns around to face him his cheeks burns up in flames. "Can you help me? " He lifts his arm and grabs the bottle of detergent with no difficulties. She murmurs a thank you as she puts it in the trolley and then smiles sweetly at him. He wonders if it would be convenient for him to asks her to stop by the hospital on the way home, so he could have his brain checked.

At the end, he decides to ask her because if his brain regressed to the one of a Neanderthal, the academic world is gonna lose one of the most brilliant mind of the 21th century and that just _can't _happen. So he speaks up. Penny's eyes widen. "Why? Aren't you feeling well?" Sheldon doesn't know if that note in her voice is alarm or concern. He's not good at reading that. What he _does _know, though, is that he is totally unable to lie. "No." he said, then adds "It's nothing they could cure after a total checkup visit anyhow. I shouldn't have asked in the first place. Forget it. " Penny frowns deeply.

After an entire minute of unusual silent on Sheldon's part, Penny can't help his mouth shut any longer. "Sheldon, what is going on? Are you feeling sick? You know you can tell me." Now, Sheldon can recognize the high pitched tone of her voice and knows he doesn't like it at all. He takes a breath and licks his lower lip. His fingers clenched on his slacks."I thought I made pretty clear I wanted to take back my request." "But you just asked me to take you to the hospital!" It's the tone that means she's not going to let it go. Penny turns her head to him in, stunned. Sheldon met her eyes briefly before turning them to the road in front of him. "I think you're still not skilled enough to do more than _one_ task at the same time. I highly encourage you to pay more attention to the road." Penny keeps watching him with her mouth open. "You almost missed a stop sign." He adds blankly. She turns quickly, slowing down the car and tightening the grip on the steering wheel. She doesn't stop by the hospital and she doesn't ask him questions anymore, but she keeps throwing glances at him all the ride home.

Back home, Sheldon steps in the kitchen and opens the sideboard. Only in that moment, he realizes it's French toast day and he's run out of bread. He could always ask Penny if she has some. He's sure she's just bought it at the store. Seconds later he walks into his bedroom and puts his bus pants on. He has to go back to the supermarket to buy some new eggs anyway.

"…_you miss him"... "Do I miss the way he fixes the zip on my jacket when it gets stuck? I don't think so. "_

She's touching him. He knows it's her. He can _feel_ it. She _can't_ be touching him. No one can be touching him. Well, maybe _Leonard_ can. In case of emergency. Because Leonard is his _best _friend. She can't. She _definitely _can't. He wants to stop her but when he tries to lift his arms, he realizes he can't move. It's like his body's frozen, but he can _totally_ feel her touch. Her fingers trace the borders of his windbreaker's zip and travel down, brushing over the pockets of his pants, following a pattern down his leg and then rising up again. She pulls down the zip of his jacket (why he's even wearing it, if he can feel his skin burning under all those layers?) revealing his Green Lantern shirt. Her hands move down again. Her index brush over the entire length of his pants' zip. He feels himself groaning in what he's sure must be pain, because what else could feel that _excruciating_? Her fingers move closer and closer but never touch him. Not where he wants her to. Not where he _craves_ her the most. No. No. That _can't _be possible. He does not want to be touched. Most of all, he doesn't want to be touched by _her_.

Sheldon shakes his head almost violently and wakes up with a gasp.

He rushes into the bathroom, breathless. His hands grip the sink for support because he's not completely sure he can still hold his own weight. If the universe had decided to put his mind in the body of a man instead in that of a robot, maybe it was time to act like one and put an end to that _torture_. After all it's not like it hadn't done it before. In the safety of his bathroom, behind the periodic table curtain of the shower, when he was sure Leonard wasn't home. But he never done it with the fresh memory of _her _body marked into his brain. He knows that if he closed his eyes the shape of her back, of her legs, of her bottom, would appear distinctly behind them. So he looks up in the mirror, dark blue eyes turned almost black stare back. All he can see is his own flushed cheeks, wet lips, messy hair. He can't believe she has reduced him (his _body_, he has to remind himself, not him, _never _him) like this by doing… basically nothing. His heartbeat thumps in his ears. This has been going on for long enough. It's time to do what he _has_ _to_ and go back to his routine. He takes a deep breath and unbuttons his khakis. It's only when his fingers grab the zip to pull it down, that he finds out, horrified, it's completely _stuck_.

"_By the way how are you with zippers?" "Why?" "Well, I really need to go to the bathroom and this one's gone all catawampus."_


End file.
